Tea Lights and Autumn Leaves
by Chiseplushie
Summary: Remus and Hermione live and die together, again and again. Only one of them remembers their past lives. Magical AU. Remione.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello! Good to see you! Hope you enjoy :)

Please message me with comments or suggestions. Reviews are appreciated.

This chapter is for the lovely ShayaLonnie ~ you can find her in my Favs List.

-Chiseplushie

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 **Tea Lights and Autumn Leaves - Chapter 1: Lifetime #6  
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"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione–"

It was always worse when she died first. Selfishly, it was worse for him.

The grief of being alone and without her felt like the first time, every time.

They were meant for each other. Meant to be together. He didn't know how she dealt with the grief when he died before her, but life went on for them. Life always went on.

Remus gathered his wife in his arms, and held her. His heart throbbed in the base of this throat, his shoulders heaved. He sobbed her name over and over again, as if the sound of it could bring her back to him. Her name turned into howling that brought the Healers and nurses into her room. They gently pried her from his grasp, and he just held onto her hand like an anchor, rubbing his face against her hand. Hermione's wedding band was cold against his cheek.

He could only remember two instances when she died before him. And each time was worse than the last because a bit of him died with her. Although he was 10 years her senior in this lifetime,they were still so young. She was too young to die. They barely had a decade together in this lifetime. And it was never enough time together. He wasn't ready to make funeral arrangements, to deal with Healers and nurses and face their family and friends and and and. The nurses went about their business, stating the time of death, some of them offered comforting words to him. But Remus didn't hear them has he folded into himself, into his grief, and knowing–accepting that she wasn't alive anymore.

He tried to not be angry with her. It wasn't her fault. She had been sick. Remus would get through this life and he'd wait until he could be with her again in their next life together. Hermione wouldn't remember their past lives together. She never did. He missed her.

Remus gasped as he woke. He sat up, running his hands over his chest, his heart pounding wildly in this throat. As the spike of adrenaline ebb away, as his breathing slowed down, he looked around the room to get his bearings. He recognized the room as a Hogwarts dormitory. Gryffindor, if the decor had anything to say about it.

He just woke from a dream…. in his dream he was holding on to something. A ledge, or a pole or … just something. It was all fuzzy, and he couldn't remember exactly. And then he died and dieing had woke him up from his dream. He died! Of course he did. Remus focused and he remembered bits and pieces of his past lives–they were mixed in with his memories of his current life. Were they dreams? He ran his hands through his sand colored hair and – Hermione!

He'd be able to see her dark eyes, warm and bright with life; her curls, soft and wild as her smile. The sound of her laughter. Her voice. The way she smelled– slightly different in every lifetime but always comforting at the same time.

He rifled through his memories of this life and – yes, yes yes. They were the same age in this lifetime. They were the best of friends. But that would change, he would make sure of it. Remus checked the time, and decided to get on with his day even though it was a bit early. With a spring in his step, he padded to the showers to begin to get ready for the rest of his life with Hermione Granger.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the love! There isn't a posting schedule, this is just something that i update from time to time.**

 **Tumblr : chiseplushie**

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Tea Lights and Autumn Leaves: Chapter 2 - Lifetime #12

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Remus awoke with a jolt.

Gasping in panic, he blindly scrabbled for a hand hold thinking for a moment that he had fallen from his perch in his sleep. His calloused fingertips found the ropes securing his legs to the thick branch, causing his shoulders to slump in relief. Shallow breaths of air tasted of stale wood smoke and chilled his lungs.

He took a few minutes to sift through his memories, keeping his eyelids closed as he tried to separate memories from this _present_ lifetime from all his other past lives. Remus had a pounding headache which threatened to split his mind open. He really didn't want to deal with it right now. He gently bumped his skull against the tree trunk, thinking it might be best to distribute the pain some how.

As his breathing slowed and his heart found its steady rhythm again, he squinted around in the soft sun rise trying to make sense of this lifetime. Remus had died, again and always woke up feeling as if he was falling. It wasn't weightlessness or the rush of the wind whipping past his ears as he rode a broom. It felt like a rug was suddenly pulled from beneath his feet, tripping him up, making him feel unbalanced.

Remus clutched his patched backpack to his chest, being careful to not injure himself on the double bladed axe strapped to the bag. This bag was important, he felt it. He wished he had hours to sift through his memories, but in the back of his mind Remus knew his time was limited this morning. He just couldn't remember why.

"Are you awake, Moony?" a quiet voice floated up.

Remus scrunched his eyes shut, briefly pressing his fingers into the sockets. In Remus' last lifetime, he and Sirius had a petty row which ended in disappointment for both men. Remus died before they worked it out. He was glad to see his friend again.

"Yeah, I'm awake." Remus replied.

"Better get going then, and make use of the daylight. Sun's almost up." Sirius was already untying his own knotted rope.

"Right,"

Working to untie his ropes, Remus used the time to continue sifting through his memories. He didn't want to start his first day in this new lifetime blind. It's happened before of course, but living someone else's life… his life? Made him nervous. So much was unknown to him until he could find his bearings.

Remus looped the rope and tied it together neatly, then rummaged in his bag for some clues that would tell him more about his life. Finding a carabiner, he clipped the rope to the outside of his bag. Snacks, matches, nail polish, bandages, filled water bottles, mismatched pens, a notebook, two novels with a number of missing pages, extra clothes that smelled worse than they looked, a thin blanket a bar of soap and cache of bullets. A hand gun.

His decidedly muggle life, it seemed.

During the second wave of panic, Remus found his wand nestled inside the breast pocket of his jacket. Thank Merlin.

Remus slid his arms through the straps, the lumpy bag felt both familiar and foreign against the lines of his back. He was filled with trepidation, unsure if he wanted to find Hermione in this lifetime. Not after reviewing his inventory. Not when he didn't know where his place was in her life.

"You're slower than a flobberworm this morning." Sirius' voice floated up from the forest floor.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." he growled.

Sirius looked the same but different. His dark hair reached his shoulders, tied up in a half pony tail. Sometimes his skin was decorated with tattoos from his prison stay or personal desire, but this lifetime wasn't one of those times. Both men were dressed similar, ratty denims, jumper, boots, and an overcoat, so Remus couldn't exactly see but it was one of the things he knew. Without knowing. His mind would separate the memories, but it was a slow process and after more than ten lifetimes, he was turning into an impatient man.

"Let's get going. Maybe we find a stream close by." Sirius hiked his pack up higher on his shoulders, nearly bumping his head on the blunt side of his axe. "I don't know about you Moony, but I could do with a proper wash."

They walked a bit, following the slight sloping lines of the forest. With the sun's rays warming the left side of his face, Remus hoped this lifetime was not as dangerous as it appeared to be.


End file.
